I have cancer and if you have been following me you know that even though I don’t know when I do know when I will leave the planet it will eventually be cancer that will be my demise. I DON’T LIKE IT but seriously do I really have no choice but than to accept it? Heard a friend of mine the other day mention that he hates it when people say ‘it is what it is’ and stomping my feet or holding my breath to get what I want or to change things only worked a few time with my parents and then they put a stop to that nonsense.
Everything is perspective and there have been so many examples for me in the past few days I thought it the time to share my thoughts with you.
First, let me state that I am in my second week of ‘between chemos’ where my strength is rebuilding so that I am strong enough to start my 3rd round of chemotherapy. I mention this because I can definitely feel the strength coming back, the same way I did the previous times. Putting myself on regular doses of magnesium I believe have helped as well, a previous article I posted talks about the struggles I was having my magnesium deficiency.
So I am left with the reality that this is my lot (for now) I have cancer and sorry ‘Ro’ IT REALLY IS WHAT IT IS.
Choices:
So how do I handle the situation? I guess I have 2 choices.
NOT ACCEPTING
Play the ‘it’s not fair – pity party’ routine which is only going to piss people off and make me miserable. How can I let all the people down who are pushing for me and stay in a funk for the rest of my life because I don’t like the cards I have been dealt? I had a friend ‘Ju’ who is part of a very Christian family tell me ‘I just want you to know we have added you to morning prayers’ I can’t be a hypocrite and say “Thanks I appreciate that” then walk away cursing and swearing about the situation.
Negative Vibes like that can’t be good for me – I have no evidence that being in a bad place reduces your chances of recovery and I certainly don’t want to debate it, but surely being positive has got to be better all around.
Being an idiot around people. The people who are following me on this journey (that includes you…) know what’s going on. But those I come in touch with on a daily basis, coffee shop, gas station, grocery they don’t have a clue. If I come across as a complete dick just because I have cancer that can screw up their day, seriously who am I to do that to people. I had periods of depression in my life and treated people that way, it’s not fun – don’t do it.
ACCEPTING
Attitude Mine stinks sometimes, but I have been working on improving it, Even I don’t like being miserable (hence the Mood-a-Meter) so I have been working on that with the help of other people. Last week I reached out to cancer friends ‘Wa and Da’ for inspiration and I was amazed at how much it helped. One was told 39 years ago that he had a few months to live and he is still going strong.
Hope the Prognosis doesn’t look that great RIGHT NOW but I could show up for the next appointment and my oncologist may say ‘good news Peter’ we are going to try this and it might help’ I would rather be ready for that and have hope that going in with a negative attitude thinking all is lost.
Healthy Eating No I am not going to go overboard on this, there is plenty of stuff on the internet about what to eat and what not to eat when you have or want to avoid when you have cancer. But I’m making an effort, if I’m in a bad place I don’t really care about what I eat and reach out for ‘comfort food’ to make me feel better. If I make better choices it’s quite simple, I feel better plus I feel I’m doing something.
Peeps and Grats In a previous article I wrote about how important, for me, it was for me to surround myself with positive people. This really helps me with my attitude and acceptance.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself This is a big one, it ain’t going to change things if you feel sorry for yourself so JUST STOP IT
Humor One of my future articles is going to address this – so let’s just leave it at that for now but it’s important.
So that’s how I am coping with accepting right now – I hope that my current acceptance level continues. I truly believe that if I continue to adopt all of the above, and add some more that it will.
In closing, this is something that I read as often as possible if you are having a problem with accepting you might find it useful.
“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment”
Huge shout out to the guys at Bladder Cancer Canada who organized the ‘Walk for Bladder Cancer’ out in Mississauga who extended an invitation to me to join them. I learned a lot about what is going on with my cancer and more importantly the fact there are people who have a selfless dedication to helping others – please keep up the excellent work.
Peter & T
