This cancer can really play with your head, Divina was worked Sunday, I still wasn’t feeling great after the 5 hours of chemo from Thursday which for some reason hit me harder than the last session, stayed in bed way too long, my thoughts were all over the place.
I am in no way implying that my cancer journey is any more dramatic than anyone else’s, all are difficult – but this really really sucks. It’s hard to accept that I am dying from cancer be it this year next year or whenever. There’s a McDonalds not far from here so I took a walk over just for a change in scenery and a cup of coffee, bumped into an old friend Ch who has had more than his fair share of problems. If there is a lighter side to this post it was that it would seem that we were trying to outdo each other on how bad things were for each other.
‘Trying to be positive’ is what everyone is suggesting is hard but t is impossible to flick a switch and make that happen, trust me I tried yesterday and it didn’t work. I spent some of the afternoon watching bits and pieces of movies, one of my all-time favorite movies is ‘Meet Joe Black’ starring Anthony Hopkins it’s about a successful businessman who receives a visit from the ‘angel of death’ informing him when he is going to die and is there to tie up the loose ends of his life. Given my state of mind at the time it probably wasn’t the most motivating or helpful movie to watch.
Well, that was my pity party – if you didn’t get an invitation you’re lucky because it wasn’t much fun. I’m going to take a shower, complete some work that needs to be done, shave and put my ‘big boy pants on’ and try to live:
Just one day at a time.
P and T
PS: Thanks to my crazy friend ‘Ke’ for reaching out on Facebook messenger and ‘Jo’ and ‘Sa’ for the phone calls
