It’s been a while since I’ve reached out to everyone so I thought it time for an update.  Things have settled down to a routine, still no cancer in my life right now and I’m months away from a recheck so taking things a day at a time.

I have come to the conclusion that the cancer I had, prior to diagnosis, had maybe been there for some time and unbeknown to me dragging me down healthwise little by little. I thought back then that the tiredness and lack of energy was just part of getting old, now that I am cancer free I seem to have boundless energy, appetite, and a feeling of well being. In a way of paying it forward, I volunteered to be a volunteer with Bladder Cancer Canada way back in December last year.  I was contacted recently and asked to be part of a Q&A panel at a ‘Bladder Cancer 101’ evening at Princess Margret Hospital, it was an honor to be part of an evening with fellow survivors and those starting on the same journey some of us there had taken.  At the end of the evening, those of us on the panel were asked for any closing thoughts, I found myself saying that other than the surgical trauma and adjustments to my life bladder cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Let me explain – at the beginning of my journery, my wonderful daughter had said that this could end up being the best thing that could happen to me “yeah right” I remembered saying, “I’d rather keep my bladder and piss like everyone else than go through this” – but she was probably right.  So my bladder is on the outside of my body and most everyone else’s has there’s on the inside, that in its self has turned out not to be such a big deal as I thought it would. It’s not a physical thing it’s an emotional thing that I’m referring to, my daughter is very observant and I believe she was one of the first to see that my spiritual tank had a leak!  I had become caught up in the life of ‘more’ I wanted more money, a better this and better that little things like that.  I was complaining more, smiling less getting frustrated with little things and the sound of laughter in my life had diminished.

Now I am not suggesting that getting cancer is the only way to seek happiness but for me, it gave me a kick in the butt and made me realize that what you have is not going to make me happy – trying to impress people is pointless.  I know for sure that life is short, I was told that mine might come to an end sooner rather than later, for now, it seems my lease has been extended and I’m grateful for that.  I’m not trying to come across as some spiritual guru lots of people have lived more meaningful lives than me for ‘all of their life’ maybe I’m just sharing this with you because I’m grateful that because of my cancer the leak in my spiritual tank has been fixed.

I’m probably happier today than I’ve been in a long long time if your spiritual tank seems to be leaking I hope you find something to plug it with, I hope it’s not cancer it’s not fun but believe as I did when Bobby D told me ‘you’re going to be ok you know’ you really are I promise you just don’t sweat the unimportant things and most important smile…

Come on SMILE – there ya go I knew you could do it…

Peter R