Time to reflect

This time last year I was flat on my back at Sunnybrook Hospital having recently undergone surgery to deal with my Stage 4 Bladder Cancer, the Christmas ahead would I thought, be one of pain, anxiety scattered with thoughts of feeling sorry for myself – I was right, all of that happened. Homeward bound days later I was to be accompanied by my ever-supportive Divina carrying bags of supplies, medication, and an uncertain future.

But I was alive…

And what a year it has been – If there is one word that comes to mind, one word that rang true during 5 months of Chemo and surgery its Gratitude I’m even grateful for the Cancer that could have very easily ended my life but I’ll get to that later.  Here are a few of the things that were (and still are) on that list of gratitude, in no particular order.

• Doctor E – Who was the one who told me that no further surgery was required because my Cancer had gone. I’m not one for crying in public (my pride) but his words brought me to tears and he just sat there as if I was the only patient he had that day and waited for my sobbing to stop and when it did he shook my hand and said “go home”
• All I had to pay for was the PARKING – I tend to forget that one of the benefits of living in this great country is that our medical care is free, sure some may say it needs improvement but bottom line is that south of the border my Chemo, Surgery, and aftercare would have cost in excess of $600,000 – and at my age even there most probably would have been a deductible of around 90 grand.
• The People – It would be so easy to say that the hospital staff was just doing their job but they went way beyond that, I was treated with kindness, respect, and concern for my well being at all times.
• The Other People – This is a ‘biggie’ my father once told that “If you have people in your life that you can call at any time, for any reason and they will be there then you are blessed” Blessed doesn’t even cover it, people reached out to me EVERY SINGLE DAY while I went through my ordeal. Some made me laugh when I needed cheering up, some just listened when I was angry and had the poor/why me’s, others quelled my fears and dried my crying eyes and some just called to say hello – all of you will have a special place in my hearts forever.
• Boddy D – I’ve mentioned this guy many times in my articles, around 40 years when I was faced with another challenge that could have shortened my life I met this great man who although was prone to use 10 words when 2 would suffice came up to me and said very simply “You’re going to be OK you know” I didn’t believe him at the time but soon after I realized how true those words were. So true in fact that most days in the last year I recited those words over and over again – and guess what I’m OK just like he said I would be.

So why am I grateful that I had cancer? I have learned so much in the last year, I’ve learned more about myself and other people than I ever thought possible. I have learned that people can be kind, loving and supportive even when they have their own problems.  I learned not to take life so seriously and that this is not a rehearsal. I have become less materialistic, that stuff means nothing, friends, purpose, and fellowship are everything.  I have learned that I can give back or ‘pay-it-forward’ without screaming from the rooftops about how great I am.

Most of all I’m grateful that today I’m alive and I don’t have cancer anymore.

Until the new year – Cheers my friends

PS: Edited as usual ‘on the fly’ – if you see spelling or grammatical errors remember ‘shit happens’